By Prince Ambrose Ahmed
It is disheartening to witness a generation of young Nigerians abroad who no longer recognize the values and boundaries that once guided our families and communities. Recently, a disturbing incident surfaced where a Nigerian child in the United States allegedly assaulted his father and his father’s best friend simply because they attempted to correct him. He labeled their intervention as “stressful” and felt entitled to retaliate with violence—a testament to the moral decay festering within our youth.
This incident is not isolated; it is a grim reflection of the influence of Western teachings and lifestyle on our children, leading them astray from the principles that shaped us. The Western world often preaches freedom without boundaries and rights without responsibilities, undermining the importance of respect and discipline in family structures. This poisonous ideology corrupts our children’s minds, making them believe that they are their own masters, beyond correction and above accountability. This trend is destroying the very fabric of our culture, where respect for elders, especially parents, was once sacrosanct.
One of the major flaws in modern parenting, especially in the diaspora, is the tendency of fathers to try to be their children’s friends rather than authoritative figures. Friendship can blur the lines of respect and discipline. A friend cannot correct with the firmness and authority required to instill proper values. A father must be a father—a figure of respect, guidance, and discipline. Unfortunately, when fathers step into the role of a friend, they lose the authority to correct and control, and the children are left adrift, without clear boundaries.
Equally concerning is how some mothers, in their bid to keep their children close, consciously or unconsciously undermine the father’s authority. In many cases, this is done to gain the child’s favor, especially in situations where there is marital discord or separation. Children are quick to pick up on this divide and learn to exploit it, often turning against the father, who is painted as the ‘villain’ for trying to enforce discipline. This undermining of paternal authority is a critical factor in why many children no longer fear or respect their fathers. Instead, they see them as mere obstacles to be challenged and overcome.
A case in point is an incident I witnessed last year in the United States, involving my own son. With the prompting of his mother, he poured hot water on a lady living in the same compound because his mother had a personal grievance against the young woman. When this was reported to the police, a senior officer who knew me well called and asked how to handle the matter, as they were trying to avoid arresting my son to prevent offending me. I made it clear to them that my son had never spent a night in a cell, but if the victim had been my daughter, would I not want justice? I insisted that my son must be locked up for at least 24 hours to learn that irrespective of who his father is, wrong actions have consequences. If his mother complained, I said, she should be locked up as well. My son was arrested, and his bail was secured the next day. This was a necessary lesson, a stark reminder that no one is above the law or beyond correction.
The importance of this approach cannot be overstated. Marvin Gaye’s tragic death at the hands of his father is another chilling example. Under the influence of drugs, he attacked his own father, who, in a fit of desperation and fear, shot him. While I do not condone violence, I understand the helplessness and rage that could lead a father to such an extreme. God forbid any child of mine ever raises a hand against me. That child would be a walking corpse the moment it happened. The boundary must be set and held firm, for without it, chaos and disrespect reign.
Fathers must reclaim their role as the bedrock of discipline and authority in the family. It is not our duty to be friends with our children; it is our duty to guide them, even if it means being unpopular. Mothers, too, must support this role rather than undermine it. A unified front is essential to raising children who understand the importance of respect and consequences.
The Western world’s influence, with its distorted sense of freedom and entitlement, is corrupting our children. We must return to our roots, to the values that made our communities strong. We must teach our children that respect for elders and for the law is non-negotiable. Discipline must be restored in our homes, not just for the sake of our families, but for the future of our society.
Written by Prince Ambrose Ahmed
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